ALOCS Clothing Sizing Guide What to Know First

A single rule never covers this catalogue

Just about every fit question here arrives in the same shape: what size should I order? The style decides, since That’s A Awful Lot Of Cough Syrup writes its fit guidance product by product, not once for the range. The note on the page for most pieces is true to size. On two tee styles the cut runs small enough that the brand asks you to take one or two sizes bigger. Two more styles fit true to size while asking you to size up for the oversized look. Returns happen precisely when one rule is applied anyway, because instructions of that kind cannot be folded into one.

The missing size chart, and what that means for you

There is no global size chart, and whole lotta cough syrup the brand publishes none. Its own sizing pages, a general sizing chart and a separate t-shirt size chart, render without any chart content as of September 2026. That is not a temporary outage; it is the state of the site. Which means the product description is your only authoritative source on fit, and it is worth reading in full. Somebody else’s reconstruction is what any measurement table for alocs clothing on a resale listing, a blog or a lookalike store amounts to, not a published figure. Those charts are guesses, so treat them that way.

The size range you are choosing from

Take the range first, and what is actually on offer. With small through extra-large on nearly every style, apparel runs XS to 3XL. The top end is narrower than it looks: 3XL appears on 48 products, so a 3XL buyer shops a subset of the catalogue. Kids sizes run 2/3, 4/5, 6 and 8. Denim and workwear sit off that ladder and are sized by waist from 28 through 44. The sections below are organised by situation, and every instruction quoted comes from the brand’s own copy.

When the style runs true to size

Published as true to size: the Classic Cough Syrup T-Shirt, Hoodie and Sweatpants, the Dickies Button Down, the Dodger T-shirt, the Double Cup Cargo Shorts, the Women’s Booty Shorts, and the King Of The Kill, Drankenstein and Juicebusters tees. The easiest case is also the default across most of the catalogue. Because the classic tees are described as relaxed-fit, true to size already means a roomier body than a fitted tee. For all of these, order the size you normally wear. In a classic awful lot of cough syrup shirt, the medium you usually wear gets you a relaxed medium, not a slim one. If you want more room, the next situation applies.

When the page says to size up for an oversized fit

Misreading it is easy, because two styles carry a note that does two things at once. The Warning T-Shirt is published as true to size, with the added line that for an oversized fit you should consider sizing up. Slightly differently worded, the Double Cup Cargo Shorts run true to size, and for an oversized fit you size up one. The instruction is conditional rather than a correction. The garment is not mis-sized; the brand is explaining how to reach a looser silhouette. For the intended fit, order your normal size; if you want it big, go one up and stop, because the note says one.

When the style is published as running small

In this case skipping the product copy costs the most. The Wok Is Dead T-Shirt and the Promethazine Tour T-Shirt carry an explicit warning on the page: the style runs small, so order one or two sizes bigger than your regular size for a relaxed fit. Unlike the heavyweight classic tee, both are wide-fit, cropped tees in lightweight cotton jersey, rinsed for a vintage feel, with water-based prints front and back. A large or extra-large is what that means here if your usual size is a medium. Because a cropped body is short by design, the extra size buys length as much as width. As a demonstration of why one rule cannot cover thats an awful lot of cough syrup as a catalogue, this is the clearest.

When flat measurements are published

A handful of products carry actual flat measurements, and these beat every rule of thumb. For the Wok Is Dead and Promethazine Tour tees the brand publishes width by length from the back: small 20 inches by 17.5, medium 21.5 by 19, large 23 by 20.5. On the Double Cup Cargo Shorts, waist and inseam: small 29.5 inches and 7.75, medium 31.5 and 8, large 33.5 and 8.5, extra-large 35.5 and 9, 2XL 37.5 and 9.5. The method is plain: lay flat a garment you own and like, measure armpit to armpit and collar seam to hem, then compare. Without assuming anything, that comparison tells you more than any letter can. Use the measurements wherever they are published, and disregard everything else.

When you are shopping for bottoms

Bottoms run on a second logic, and it catches people out. On the XS to 3XL ladder you find sweatpants and sweat shorts, with the Classic Cough Syrup Sweatpants published as fitting true to size. Denim and workwear go by waist from 28 through 44, and that leaves no letter to convert. That takes in the cargo shorts, the carpenter pants and the Dickies-based trousers. Measure trousers you already wear rather than guessing when you are shopping alocs shorts and the listing offers a waist number. No published conversion exists between them, and the two systems do not map onto each other.

When the product page tells you nothing at all

Where there is no fit note, and that is plenty of listings, judgement comes in. Since true to size is the published default wherever the brand does say something, it is the safest assumption. Beyond that, let the garment type guide you: a 16 oz hoodie and a 6.5 oz tee behave very differently, and heavier cloth is less forgiving. Resist importing a rule from one style onto another, because a lightweight cropped tee running small says nothing about a fleece sweatpant. The sensible default on an awful lot of cough syrup hoodie with no note is your usual size, and one up if you want it oversized. When the piece matters and the page is silent, choose one that does publish a note.

What to order, taken style by style

Every published fit instruction is gathered in the table below. Read the middle column as what the brand says on the product page, and the right column as that turned into a decision. Resale listings and reviews are not the source of any of it, and nothing has been averaged into a general rule. Nothing has been published for a style that is absent, so the true-to-size default applies. The whole table was checked in September 2026. Treat it as a companion to the product page rather than a replacement, since products come and go every few weeks.

A last word on charts you find elsewhere

It bears repeating, because it is the point most likely to save you a parcel: there is no published size chart for this brand. Somebody else made every chart circulating under the brand’s name, usually by measuring one garment or copying a template, and neither accounts for a catalogue where one tee runs small and another runs relaxed. The pages that would hold one load without any chart, and the frequently asked questions do not fill the gap. The sources you can rely on are the per-product fit note, the published flat measurements where they exist, and a tape measure against something you own. Returns exist, with a refund window of a month from purchase and return shipping paid by the customer, so a wrong call is recoverable but not free. Reading the copy properly costs less than posting a box back.